wedding readings - grooms wedding speech

Wedding Speeches and Readings

Wedding Readings and Speeches

Wedding readings and speeches

I have photographed hundreds of weddings and in that time I have heard many wedding speeches. Some very good, some very bad and some just ugly. I will break them down a little and hope that if you have been asked to give a reading or speech at a friends or family members wedding this will help.

I’ll have some suggestions on ‘Do’s and Don’t’ at the end.

And some cheesy one-liners you may or may not want to include in your wedding speech

Traditional Wedding Speech Order

  • Father of the bride
  • Groom
  • Best man

This the traditional wedding speed order but like so many wedding traditions that’s all they are and you can do yours the way you want it.

Wedding Readings

wedding ceremony readings

Wedding readings are generally those given by close friends or family during the wedding ceremony. There are the ever-popular classics I hear all the time like. Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things”. or one of the many variations out there. It’s funny but it always makes me think of the 90’s film ‘Hackers’ and Matthew Lillard getting kicked out of “not woodshop’.

‘The Lovely Other Dinosaur’ by Edward Monkton and ‘Oh The Places You’ll Go’ by Dr Seuss are others that always make me smile. I have heard these many times but always enjoy them. Other Wedding readings are personal to peoples experiences with the couple. These are always heartfelt and often have somebody shedding a tear. Generally, these reading are pretty safe if sometimes a little emotional.

Wedding speeches.

Wedding speeches

The standard format for wedding speeches is the father of the bride kicking things off. The groom filling in the middle looking starry-eyed at his bride. The speeches are generally finished off with some light-hearted attacks on the groom by his best man. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, mostly and thankfully nothing. There have been occasions where I and most of the guests have cringed thinking that’s really not appropriate. But generally, couples give a lot of thought about who will be giving the speeches and what they might say.

wedding speech

I will have a little run-through of the kind of thing you will get in each of the speeches. Please don’t think that because there is a standard format that this is a bad thing. The typical topics covered by each speech are there because they are important. Don’t feel that you have to break the mould. It is the mould because it works. At the same time, there is nothing wrong with going a little off the beaten track.

Father of the bride’s speech.

Father of the brides wedding speech

A formal welcome to everybody and mention to those passed or unable to attend. How his little girl has grown and what an elegant and beautiful woman she has become. How proud he is to welcome the groom into the family. Some humorous stories of the bride as a young girl. Some of the most animated speeches I have seen have been from the father of the bride.

Maybe some of her early dreams and aspirations. especially if they are just a little embarrassing. maybe a lighthearted joke about everybody enjoying the day, especially as it’s costing so much but be careful here. That can come across badly. Often a tear of pride and of course a warm and loving welcome into the family for the groom.

Wedding speech groom.

Groom gives his wedding speech

A slightly less formal welcome to the guests. Thanks to the bridesmaid, groomsmen, family and everybody involved in bringing the day together. Often at this point, there will be gifts handed out to those who have helped organise the day. Keepsakes for the bridesmaids and groomsmen and of course don’t forget the parents especially the mothers.

Comment on how lovely the bridesmaids look and how stunningly beautiful his new wife is. Along with how lucky he feels to now be married. maybe thanks to the venue and comments on how well they have been looked after.  Maybe mention to other vendors who have gone above and beyond. A toast and a warning that the best man is well known for making things up and not to trust any stories he may have about his experiences with the groom.

The best man’s speech.

bridesmaid gives a speech

I’m saying ‘Best Man’ but quite often the best man is a woman. I have often been told the best man for any job is a woman and all too often I can not argue with that. It is traditional for the best man to make the Groom feel a little uncomfortable. Tell some embarrassing stories of their adventures together. Have a few jokes at his expense but it should always be in good humour and good taste. If you can keep the laughing you are doing well. If the room goes quiet you may have crossed a line…..

wedding speeches

The best man’s speech can often turn out to be the most emotional. For some, it marks the ending of an age. Sometimes it feels like he is about to lose his best mate and after regaling the wedding party with their stories he feels it is all coming to an end.

Wedding speech bride.

Many more brides are taking the microphone and giving their own wedding speech. Sometimes in a supporting role for their new husband to help settle his nerves but more often simply because she has something to say. Mix it up. It’s your wedding, play it your way.

Other speeches.

I’ve said that this is the standard tradition running order. But I am seeing more Brides taking the microphone, either planned or to help out the groom who is in the process of losing it. Bridesmaids often have something to add and I have seen a few wedding speeches where the mic is offered around the room to give any guest the chance to say a few words. Traditions are important but it is also important to break a few too. Every wedding is unique and individual, make yours your day.

A few “do’s and don’ts”

Do…….

  • Practice your speech – There many people who can stand up in a crowd and talk confidently, humorously and pull it off. If you are one great. If not make sure you know what you are going to say.
  • Keep it light, heartfelt and sincere – Honesty always shines through and your audience will relate with what you have to say.
  • Keep it brief – Unless you are a great entertainer. And I think every family has them along with those who think they are. Keep it brief, don’t get lost in the weeds. Many times I have seen guests fidgeting in their seats, whispering to each other about how much longer this person will drone on. Short and sweet is always a winner.
  • Thank everybody involved – Somebody who sat up several nights writing name place cards or ran the bride around every wedding dress shop in the are deserves a mention. Think about how people have helped make this day special.
  • Have fun. – Remember you are with friends. It is a happy occasion. Enjoy the day. Enjoy your opportunity to take the floor and be yourself.

Don’t…….

  • Read word for word – this comes from the first point on the do’s, It will never be fluid and natural. Use cards with bullet points, it’s much more comfortable and you are less likely to miss significant portions of your speech.
  • Try to shock – this is most relevant to the best man’s speech. But stories of how the groom came back from the stag weekend with a dose bever go down well. The same is true for mentioning the ex-girlfriends.
  • Drink too much before your speech – It can be tempting to knock back a stiff drink or two if you are very nervous about facing 150 people but It is more likely to make it all go wrong.
  • Worry about it – even if it goes wrong you will have given people something to remember you by.

Some cheesy one-liners.

These are a little like Christmas cracker jokes, the audience bonds over how bad the jokes are. It can be a good way to break the ice. Here are a few ideas for you to adapt and maybe use in your wedding speech.

  • “It’s been a very emotional day, even the cake is in tiers”.
  • “Ladies and Gentlemen: you are all about to witness a unique event in history.  The very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us.”
  • “I didn’t really know where to start so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours, I‘d found some really, really good stuff.  But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech”.
  • “Does anyone mind if I do this sitting down? Only my legs appear to have turned to jelly.”
  • “My speech today will be like a mini-skirt.  Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!”
  • “I’d like to start by congratulating (Name) on their excellent taste in speech-givers”.
  • “Well, what can I tell you about the groom? I’ve known him for about 10 years, he’s handsome, intelligent, witty, charismatic..sorry, wrong wedding”.
  • “Those who know me well know that I’m a bit nervous about this speech, and they gave me some great advice. They said ‘Don’t try to be too charming, witty or intellectual… just be yourself!’”.
  • “Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous… That’s enough about me, I’m here to talk about (Name)!”
  • “I heard there was a sweepstake on the length of the best man’s speech. I just went for 35 minutes – so settle in….”
  • “No seriously this speech will be a bit like Clive short and not very funny”.
  • ‘Remember, (brides name): a husband’s not just for Christmas…’
  • “(Grooms name) is a kind, generous, handsome man who would do anything for anyone – he’ll even write your best man speech without you having to ask.”
  • “Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly magical. Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the open bar/doughnut wall/photo booth.”
  • “(Grooms name) did tell me that the vicar was firmly against sex before marriage. However, (brides name) did assure him it would only take a couple of minutes”.
  • “I regret what I ordered for the meal, as yours looked tastier than mine – a phrase you must use sparingly now that you’re married.”
  • “Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history – it’s the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!”
  • “(Name), I love you so much, and I really hope you’ll feel the same about me after you hear my speech.”
  • “I’ve also spoken to some of (grooms name) work colleagues who tell me that his nickname at work is ‘The God’, it’s true, apparently he makes his own rules and if he does any work it’s usually a miracle”.
  • “Hi everyone! I’m (Name) and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!”
  • “The couple have requested that I don’t share any embarrassing stories… so that’s it from me! Thanks for listening!”
  • “Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions”!
  • “Where do I start with (Name)? They’re kind, intelligent, gorgeous, charming… (directed at them) sorry, I’m having trouble reading your writing, you’ll have to tell me the rest later.”
  • “All of us gathered together in this room, we’ve got something really important in common – none of us has got a clue what I’m going to say next!”
  • “I’d like to say a big thank you to Alka Seltzer and Immodium, my speech co-sponsors…”
  • “His colleagues describe him as a first-class banker – I may have misheard them”.
  • “The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it”.
  • “I hope my father enjoyed this speech while looking down on me. He’s not dead, he’s over there, being condescending.”
  • “Marriage is like a bean bag. Comfortable at first, but impossible to get out of.”
  • “As befits such a romantic occasion, I shall end this speech with some touching material. (Stroke the tablecloth).”

wedding speeches and readings

Thank you.

I hope this has been useful. If you are lined up to give a reading or make a wedding speech, good luck, have fun and remember it’ll all work out.

Still looking for help writing your wedding speech? Click here for more from Wikihow.

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2 thoughts on “Wedding Speeches and Readings”

  1. 23 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches.

    Handy one-liners to make the guests LOL

    If you’ve read our post on how to make a great best man speech, you’ll know that we recommend starting with a joke, and today, we’re sharing 23 foolproof examples! The beauty of this list is that it works for any wedding speech, whether you’re a groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesman, groomsmaid, father of the bride/groom, mother of the bride/groom, granny/grandad of the bride/groom or just a close pal with a knack for public speaking!

    Boasting everything from eye-roll-worthy classics to offbeat gags, our round-up of funny opening lines is sure to have something to suit your personal style – many of them can be customised to pack an even bigger punch on the day. Kick off with one of these gems, and you’ll not only put the audience at ease, but you’ll set yourself up for a terrific wedding speech. Good luck!

    23 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
    Note: (name) can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the bridal party.

    “Gosh, what an emotional day it’s been. Even the cake is in tiers.”

    “Hi everyone! I’m (Name) and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!”

    “The couple have requested that I don’t share any embarrassing stories… so that’s it from me! Thanks for listening!”

    “(Name), I love you so much, and I really hope you’ll feel the same about me after you hear my speech.”

    “I just want to start by congratulating (previous speech giver’s Name) on their wonderful speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I couldn’t follow a word of it.”

    “The couple actually had a bit of trouble finding someone to make a speech today. They started by asking their funniest friend, and they said no. Then they asked their most charming friend, and they said no. After that, they asked their best-looking friend and, again, they said no. Then they asked me, and, after already turning them down three times, I couldn’t refuse again.”

    “Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history – it’s the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!”

    “(Name) and I share the same sense of humour so if you don’t like my jokes, you can blame them!”

    “Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly magical. Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the open bar/donut wall/photo booth.”

    “Where do I start with (Name)? They’re kind, intelligent, gorgeous, charming… (directed at them) sorry, I’m having trouble reading your writing, you’ll have to tell me the rest later.”

    “I think we can all agree that it’s been a fantastic day. But unfortunately, that ends right here with my speech.”

    “Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous… That’s enough about me, I’m here to talk about (Name)!”

    “I’d like to begin my speech by giving the happy couple some relationship advice, but unfortunately I’m single and spend most of my time trying to coax my cat into little outfits/browsing Doctor Who fans sites/playing Rock Paper Scissors with Alexa.”

    “A few months ago, (Name) called me up and asked, ‘What are your feelings on marriage?’ I had to tell them that, while I was very flattered, I wasn’t ready to settle down just yet.”

    “Can everyone hear me OK? If you can’t hear me in the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing anything.”

    “Hello everyone! I’m (Name). I’m sure you all know me as (Name’s best friend/sister/mum/dad), but if you don’t, well done on sneaking into the wedding unnoticed!”

    “Before I begin, I must explain that this morning, (Name) asked me to remove anything resembling innuendo from my speech. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to go through it again, but if I come across anything risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately.”

    “(Name) knows that I’m a bit nervous about this speech, and they gave me some great advice. They said ‘Don’t try to be too charming, witty or intellectual… just be yourself!'”

    “All of us gathered together in this room, we’ve got something really important in common – none of us has got a clue what I’m going to say next!”

    “I was told that the secret to a good speech is to start with something that’s relevant to everyone in the audience. So here it goes – all of your cars have been stolen.”

    “I want to start by saying that, of all the weddings I’ve attended over the years, this one is, by far, the most recent.”

    “I’d like to start by congratulating (Name) on their excellent taste in speech givers.”

    “Before we start, can everybody do me a favour and get up off their seats? Now can everyone take one step backwards, please? Now can everyone move one step to the right? And now can everyone move one step left? Thank you. Someone told me that the key to giving a good speech was to move people, but I think they must have been having me on because this is going terribly!”

    Featured image credit: Marc Lawson via One Fab Day

  2. Pingback: Useful Wedding Links, Tips and tricks to help you plan your perfect wedding

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