Welcome to our ‘Grooms Checklist‘.
Now, you’ve made the big romantic gesture, swept off her feet, wined & dined her at her favourite restaurant. Then as you are both waiting for your coffee you’ve gone down on one knee in front of everybody and presented her with an engagement ring that has her eyes water. She’s said “YES!”
So now what?
That’s your bit done right?…….. Sit back now and let the girls get on with it, turn up on the day and say “I do” have a few beers with your mates. Get embarrassed by your best man and look forward to the wedding night?
Sorry but that is only the beginning, the real work starts if not that evening, the very next morning, but don’t worry, we have put together “This Grooms Checklist” to help you out.
It’s true, it is her day and you’ll go a long way if you practice the lines “Yes my love, I think that’s a fantastic idea” or “I want you to have the wedding day of your dreams so of course we can have …………….”. Joking aside your bride to be will need your help and support throughout the planning of your wedding, Take a look at our ‘Wedding Checklist‘ for some inspiration. If nothing else going to your bride to be with a helpful list early, will earn you lots of brownie points, asking her what tasks she would like you to take responsibility for will really have you up there (as long as you actually follow through). An old saying and one of my favourites “Ask a man to do something and you can be sure he will, there’s no need to remind him every 6 months”.
The Grooms Checklist
Set a budget
A very important first step and one that can be easy to loose track of. Be realistic set a budget you can work within, Do you know if any of your families be contributing to the wedding costs?
The Guest List
Think about how many people you want at your wedding, this is key to think about early and it will have a knock on effect on many of the the decisions you make later. Draw up a provisional list early, you can always tweak it later but have an idea of numbers from the start
Think about what type of venue you both want, are you looking for the big grand wedding venue or something more cusy. The number of guests you are planning to have will impact on this greatly, a big venue with 50 guests will look silly and your guests will be spread out all over the pace, in the same way a quaint country pub is not the place to have 800 guests.
Take a look at our ‘Venue Guide‘ for some options.
Will you be having a church service, a registry office or something else?
Here is where the fun starts and probably some tough decisions for you. Who will you choose as your best man? Who will be your ushers? It’s not just about who are your best mates, or who will organise the best stag do. These are very important roles on the day, These men will help keep you calm and on track the morning of your wedding day, greet and look after your guests, as well as embarrass you (in good taste hopefully) during the speeches and generally help make the day run smoothly. Give them a list of jobs and responsibilities on the day, it will help the day go like clockwork.
Remember your best man is also responsible for having your wedding rings so don’t pick your mate who is always forgetting or loosing something. He or one of your groomsmen will probably be called upon by me to arrange and gather people for the formal group photographs too, so somebody calm, confident and good at finding people is a plus.
If you are really struggling consider having best men, it’s not unusual for the role to be shared between a few of you closes friends, it helps split the responsibility and can work out really well during the speeches having a multi pronged assault on the groom.
Get suited and booted.
Once you have your boys all agreed and ready to go you need to get them suited and looking the part. Make sure you remember all the little things that go with their atire, like shoes, cufflinks and socks. A spare shirt or two is always a good idea. You’d be surprised how many times the best man spills something down his front before he’s even set off to the wedding. I’d say cufflinks are the most regally forgotten item and I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve lent mine to one of the groomsman.
Your Wedding Rings
A joint effort but I thought I’d add it to the grooms checklist. Do you want traditional wedding rings or something a little bit unusual that might need a lot more time to source? Do you want any form of inscription on either the inside or outside of your wedding rings? What kind of material, colour and so on?
The stag do
It’s normally up to your best man to arrange this, with help from the boys, Give him some pointers about what you really don’t want and what limits he has to work with.
It might be his best chance to wind you up but remember he is one of your best friends and will want a night for you all to remember, so have fun.
In some cases this is the most dreaded part of the whole process, but don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be long, clever or even that funny (the best man will take care of that at your expense). Some of the best grooms speeches I’ve heard have been heartfelt and honest.
Make sure you remember to thank everybody involved especially parents, groomsmen, your new wife and her bridesmaids.
Have a copy with you on the day, it’s a good idea to have a couple of copies just in case. Maybe have your dad keep one safe incase you loose yours.
I’ve always found it best to just have bullet points, reading a script will look and feel unnatural. Male sure you practice your speech (out load) a few times before the wedding day.
Writing your speech on the wedding morning generally never works out well.
Another joint project but with everything else your bride is arranging I thought I’d sneak this onto the grooms checklist. There is a chance you may not have had as much say over deciding the wedding venue, so maybe this is a chance for you to have a greater say in where you two spend your honeymoon, but remember, it is your honeymoon, somewhere romantic would probably be a good start. Tickets to see your favourite football club in Paris doesn’t really count, unless your new wife if a big fan or you’re not worried about having a really short married life.
Make your own Grooms Checklist
Every wedding is different and as unique as the couple themselves. Make your own grooms checklist. Add all the things that need to be sorted out before the wedding. When they need to be done by, who is responsible or helping.
Make a note of all your wedding vendors, names, contact details, what services or product they are supplying, when they need to be paid and by when.
It’s your wedding, a beautiful amazing day when you marry the love of your life. sometimes during the planning it all get a bit overwhelming but once you are there, married, it’s all worthwhile.
Enjoy your wedding and have fun during the planning stage. Work together, it’s good practice for the rest of your lives.
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If you are planning your wedding. Have a look at some of the useful tips we have in the righthand column on this page. Have an amazing fun filled wedding day. I am adding new stuff all the time so check back for more wedding tips.
Getting married in California, have a look at our San Diego wedding photography site.